Aspergers Self-Awareness

My 15 year old son has only recently become aware of what Aspergers is.  He knew he had the "label" about two years after he got the diagnosis.  Before that, he had an ADHD diagnosis and he wanted to stick with that diagnosis since he had just gotten a handle on what that meant and how it affected who he was and how he acted.  In the last year or two, he has begun to really understand it and it seems to help him make sense of who he is and how he relates to the world around him.

A book that really helped him begin to understand himself is the Blue Bottle Mystery by Kathy Hoopman.  It is a pretty simple "mystery" for younger kids but Kathy does  an excellent, entertaining, and informative job of laying out some of the main characteristics of Aspergers in a way that my son reallly understood.  Some of the characteristics she covers are: sensory issues, social awkwardness, difficulties with understanding others (being literal), not liking change, and unusual movements. 

Now I hear my son saying things like - "There are too many people in my room.  I have Aspergers and I don't like that." or "Please leave it in that place, I don't like it out of order because I have Aspergers."  He knows the he can improve on some of the things that he does.  For example, we were outside riding bikes and a neighbor boy fell off his bike and got a gash in his head.  Instead of asking if he was okay first, Daniel said, "That wouldn't have happened if you had been wearing a helmet like you are supposed to."  I told him that his timing was off - that he should have asked how the boy was and, once he knew he was okay, suggest kindly that he wear his helmet next time."  Daniel took the advice well and said he knew he had a problem with timing. 

He also became very agitated when his two much younger cousins were over at our house.  He really wanted to show off his massive Lego collection and let the boys play but he struggled with things being out of place.  I had to stay in the room with him a lot of the time to help calm him and "supervise" the boys so that he was able to share with him.  He wants to be kind and share but it is still a struggle for him.

However, if you were to ask him if he wishes he didn't have Aspergers, he would answer with a definite NO.  He likes who he is, quirks and all.  To him, the advantages far outweigh the challenges.  As a mother, I am really glad to hear that!  My perspective is often so much different.  I see the academic struggles, he sees a boy with an amazing visual memory who can learn almost anything.  I see a boy with social challenges, he sees a boy with the perfect number of friends (most of them also have Aspergers).  I see a boy who doesn't always read the social cues, he sees a boy who doesn't have to worry about what he does or says in public (within reason!) and who is not affected by peer pressure.  Only occasionally does he worry or wonder about life as he grows up - things like being socially acceptable enough to find someone to marry and have kids with (he loves kids and is really good with them) and what he will do for a living if he can't be a video game tester.  : )  (He did a really good job at Vacation Bible School last year with the four year olds!)

Right now, he is talking about taking his current area of focus (Christian comedy) and being the first (we think) Christian comedian with Aspergers.  That'd be pretty cool!  He also wants to talk to a first grade class about Aspergers since one of their class members just got diagnosed with the same thing.  That amazes me when I think of the shy boy in 5th grade who bailed on playing Joseph in the school Christian play because he just couldn't go out in front of the audience, even though he didn't have lines. 

We have tried so many interventions over the years - many of them experimental and proven only by anecdotal evidence - Neuronet and Braincore are a couple of them.  We've tried more common interventions like tutoring and writing lessons.  We've educated him at a private Christian elementary school, unschooling, homeschooling, homeschool "school" and schooling via videos.  Somehow, the combination of those things and the person God made him to be (genetically and experientially) have contributed to making him an amazing young man that I am proud of.  I know he's not perfect and so does he but we both know that God made Daniel the way he is on purpose and He has great plans for Him.  I'm so thankful that Daniel sees that (to quote Veggie Tales) - God made him special and He loves him very much!

All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace. Isaiah 54:13