Henna Hair Day!!!

Today was the day!  My Mehandi Body Art Quality (BAQ) Henna arrived yesterday and I couldn't wait to give it a try.  I have died my hair for several years (since it started getting "natural" aka gray hightlights) with whatever was on sale.  My sister in law mentioned that she was dying her hair with henna and indigo to avoid using the strong chemicals on her hair but to still cover the gray.  I thought that sounded like an excellent idea and went to the Henna for Hair website to read up on it and place my order. I ordered a set of two 100 g packets of Ancient Sunrise henna.  I wasn't sure whether I would need two packets or one.  The instructions said to use 100 g for short hair and more for longer than shoulder length hair.  Once I saw how big the packs were, I decided to go with one pack.

Here's what I did.  I got the kit and read that it had to "cure" about 12 hours to activate the dye in the henna.  Here's my recipe:

Pour the packet into a glass or metal bowl.  Add 1/2 cup of something acidic.  I used 1/4 cup of "lemon grenande" lemon juice (you know, the ones that look like a plastic lemon) and 1/4 cup of freshly squeezed orange juice.  It formed a thick paste which I covered with wax paper and left to sit overnight.

This morning, I added more liquid to bring it to a cake mix or yogurt type consistency. You can use more lemon juice or tea or things like that. I used 2/3 cup of Lipton tea and 1/3 cup of purified water.  I also added 10 drops of lavender essential oil and 1/2 cap of tea tree oil.  The lavender and lemon cut down on the strong smell of the henna.  I must admit it looks pretty yucky and green and icky.

I applied the paste to my roots first and then put thick clumps on the rest of my hair.  I made sure to cover the edges but wipe it off my skin with a wet cloth whenever it got on it so it wouldn't stain.  When all the hair was covered thickly, I put on a shower cap (you can also use plastic wrap) and left the henna on for 1 1/2 hours.  It wasn't hard to leave it on since I made it like a brownie mix and it wasn't runny at all.  The directions suggested to leave the henna on for 1 - 4 hours so I decided to try the low end this first time.

I rinsed it out in the shower (don't be surprised if the water runs really muddy and green).  It took a while to get it all out and for the water to run clear.  I added a little conditioner after and rinsed again.

I got out of the shower to a beautiful red head of hair!  It is supposed to get deeper for a few more days and stay for 6 months or so.  I'm guessing I have to do the roots every so often but we'll see.  Pictures are posted below.

This is the goop.  Looks yummy, huh?

BEFORE:  You can't tell but the color is a mousy blondish red.

AFTER:  The color is a beautiful clear reddish blonde.

What's the Plan? Asperger's and Homeschooling

This article was written by me and previously published in the Autism and Asperger's Digest in January 2010.

WHAT’S THE PLAN?

“What’s the plan for today, Mom?” asked my 13-year-old son Daniel. He always wants to know the plan. Daniel has been homeschooled for the last two years so every day is a little different for him. He asked me if I could put a calendar on the living room wall and write down what he is doing each day. I thought that was a great idea – even if not every home has a big calendar in the living room. He likes to cross off each day as it is completed so he knows what day it is and what is coming next.

His case of Aspergers is pretty mild so not everyone notices it. Most folks just think he is a little different or odd – a little loud or a little quiet or a little “off”. The ADHD just adds a little excitement to the already unpredictable mix.

Daniel used to go to the private school where I teach. Like many kids with ASD, he is very bright in some areas and has challenges in others. His teachers were so good to work with his unusual behaviors and learning challenges and to help him learn what he could. However, each day when he came home, he was done. He was worn out. The challenges of figuring out the social rules (or not figuring them out), dealing with the sometimes overwhelming sensory input, and learning to flex with the schedule changes in class took all he had. All he wanted to do each evening was come home, go to his room alone and work on building things. He didn’t have anything left for homework, for his family, or for other interests.

Daniel’s ADHD also made private school a challenge for him – the distractions of buzzing fluorescent lights, tapping pencils, and chirping birds outside the window were often too much for him. His disorganization academically caused him to continually forget to write down assignments or to lose assignments he’d already done. Most of the feedback he received regarding education and learning was negative.

Finally, in the middle of 5th grade, he hit a wall. He was depressed and tired and neither his teachers, counselors, nor I could figure out what to do. Fortunately, at that time, I met a friend who has a son with ASD who was homeschooling. A light bulb went off in my head. We began homeschooling at Christmas two years agao and we have been doing it ever since.

Kids with ASD often need to learn at their own speed and that’s what homeschooling allows Daniel to do. He learns at his own pace and about the subject matter that interests him. He also likes to have more time with his dad and me. He attends homeschool events like science classes and chess club and develops his social skills a little that way. The homeschooling kids that he meets seem to accept him just the way he is. The best thing, however, is that he is smiling, relaxed, happy, and creative again without the stress of “regular” school.

We have met many other parents of children with learning challenges at homeschooling events. It is a blessing to be understood. Last week at science class, Daniel had to leave the room when the presentation got too loud. I wasn’t there but another mom who has a child with sensory issues was – she just looked at Daniel with his hands over his ears making his way to the door, realized that the noise was the issue, smiled at him and watched him through the glass in the door until the noise was over and he came back into the room. At the homeschool Boy Scout troop, the leader watched Daniel for a few minutes, asked me if he was “on the spectrum”, and upon hearing my answer in the affirmative, said they’d be glad to have him in the troop. It is wonderful to be accepted despite your differences and that is what we have encountered in homeschooling.

One of the most important skills for any child to learn, especially one with special challenges, is the skill of lifelong learning and self-teaching. Some children can lose the love of learning that they are born with due to the pressure and stress of traditional schooling. Daniel was one of these children. Homeschooling has freed him to learn the way he learns best and to begin to desire to learn new things instead of being forced to do so. The removal of distractions and environmental stress has caused learning to be a joy instead of drudgery.

Homeschooling is not for every ASD child but it is one of the many options we have to educate our children in the way that is best for them. Each of our children is different – different gifts, different challenges, and different personalities. We, as parents, have the responsibility of figuring out which option is best for our children at different times in their lives. Homeschooling is the option that is working well for us right now.

In addition to the blessing of moving at his own pace, Daniel is discovering areas of interest and he has the time to focus on them. He has decided that he loves chess and enjoys drawing Manga and cartoons. One thing we thought we’d never see is a love for reading. With the extra time he has, Daniel has begun to read.

So, for our family, the answer to “What’s the plan?” is homeschooling for now. There are so many educational options for kids with ASD and we are thankful to have discovered the one that is best for Daniel right now. As he gains educational and social experience, he may decide to branch out into the world of traditional schooling again in the future.

If you are interested in learning more about homeschooling a child with special needs, there are some website resources you can explore:

· A to Z Home’s Cool - http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/weblinks/autism.htm

· Autism Link on Homeschooling - http://www.autismlink.com/pages/autism_homeschooling/

· Yahoo Group on Homeschooling Aspies – http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/homeschoolingaspies/

You can also contact your local or state homeschooling group to make contact with other parents who are homeschooling children with special needs. Happy Planning!

Aspergers Self-Awareness

My 15 year old son has only recently become aware of what Aspergers is.  He knew he had the "label" about two years after he got the diagnosis.  Before that, he had an ADHD diagnosis and he wanted to stick with that diagnosis since he had just gotten a handle on what that meant and how it affected who he was and how he acted.  In the last year or two, he has begun to really understand it and it seems to help him make sense of who he is and how he relates to the world around him.

A book that really helped him begin to understand himself is the Blue Bottle Mystery by Kathy Hoopman.  It is a pretty simple "mystery" for younger kids but Kathy does  an excellent, entertaining, and informative job of laying out some of the main characteristics of Aspergers in a way that my son reallly understood.  Some of the characteristics she covers are: sensory issues, social awkwardness, difficulties with understanding others (being literal), not liking change, and unusual movements. 

Now I hear my son saying things like - "There are too many people in my room.  I have Aspergers and I don't like that." or "Please leave it in that place, I don't like it out of order because I have Aspergers."  He knows the he can improve on some of the things that he does.  For example, we were outside riding bikes and a neighbor boy fell off his bike and got a gash in his head.  Instead of asking if he was okay first, Daniel said, "That wouldn't have happened if you had been wearing a helmet like you are supposed to."  I told him that his timing was off - that he should have asked how the boy was and, once he knew he was okay, suggest kindly that he wear his helmet next time."  Daniel took the advice well and said he knew he had a problem with timing. 

He also became very agitated when his two much younger cousins were over at our house.  He really wanted to show off his massive Lego collection and let the boys play but he struggled with things being out of place.  I had to stay in the room with him a lot of the time to help calm him and "supervise" the boys so that he was able to share with him.  He wants to be kind and share but it is still a struggle for him.

However, if you were to ask him if he wishes he didn't have Aspergers, he would answer with a definite NO.  He likes who he is, quirks and all.  To him, the advantages far outweigh the challenges.  As a mother, I am really glad to hear that!  My perspective is often so much different.  I see the academic struggles, he sees a boy with an amazing visual memory who can learn almost anything.  I see a boy with social challenges, he sees a boy with the perfect number of friends (most of them also have Aspergers).  I see a boy who doesn't always read the social cues, he sees a boy who doesn't have to worry about what he does or says in public (within reason!) and who is not affected by peer pressure.  Only occasionally does he worry or wonder about life as he grows up - things like being socially acceptable enough to find someone to marry and have kids with (he loves kids and is really good with them) and what he will do for a living if he can't be a video game tester.  : )  (He did a really good job at Vacation Bible School last year with the four year olds!)

Right now, he is talking about taking his current area of focus (Christian comedy) and being the first (we think) Christian comedian with Aspergers.  That'd be pretty cool!  He also wants to talk to a first grade class about Aspergers since one of their class members just got diagnosed with the same thing.  That amazes me when I think of the shy boy in 5th grade who bailed on playing Joseph in the school Christian play because he just couldn't go out in front of the audience, even though he didn't have lines. 

We have tried so many interventions over the years - many of them experimental and proven only by anecdotal evidence - Neuronet and Braincore are a couple of them.  We've tried more common interventions like tutoring and writing lessons.  We've educated him at a private Christian elementary school, unschooling, homeschooling, homeschool "school" and schooling via videos.  Somehow, the combination of those things and the person God made him to be (genetically and experientially) have contributed to making him an amazing young man that I am proud of.  I know he's not perfect and so does he but we both know that God made Daniel the way he is on purpose and He has great plans for Him.  I'm so thankful that Daniel sees that (to quote Veggie Tales) - God made him special and He loves him very much!

All your children will be taught by the LORD, and great will be their peace. Isaiah 54:13

Homemade Cleaners and a Natural Life

In the last several months, I have been inspired by Moms' Aware (Andrea Fabry) to change our lifestyle as a family to one that is more natural and organic.  Amazingly, it hasn't been that hard or costly to do so. 

It started when I heard a "Toxic Talk Tuesday" with Chris Fabry Live on Moody (WMBW).  He and his wife Andrea and their family have struggled with many health issues due to toxic mold exposure and had to change to completely natural foods and household/personal care products. 

After listening to several programs I realized that it couldn't hurt and would probably help our family if I tried out a few of her recipes.  I began by purchasing a couple of simple ingredients - baking soda and vinegar.  I mixed the baking soda with a few drops of some essential oils I already had (lavender or eucalyptus).  Then I put the vinegar in a spray bottle.  These two in combination make a great cleaner for almost anything.  The baking soda is a somewhat abrasive cleaner, and when you add the vinegar spray to it, there is a chemical reaction that removes lots of dirt (think back to elementary school when you made a baking soda and vinegar volcano). Some kitchen cleaner recipes are on Andrea Fabry's website. 

That worked so well that I went on to make homemade foaming hand soap with old foaming soap dispensers and liquid castille soap (with an essential oil or two).  I added tea tree oil for its anti-bacterial properties and filtered water.  This made a great, gentle hand soap.  Once again, I got the recipe from the Moms Aware website. 

Clothes washing detergent was the very easiest!  We bought a bottle of liquid Castille soap that had tea tree oil and shea butter and we use that for detergent now. It makes the clothes SO soft and clean and they don't go sour as fast as with the regular detergent.

I made other changes bit by bit (as things ran out).  We bought goat's milk soap at Ketner's Mill (craft fair) and used it in a loofah bag in the shower.  We also bought lye soap for "troubled" complexions (i.e. teenage boy complexions).

We next tackled shampoo.  We tried a shampoo from the craft fair but it made our hair too oily.  We have also tried washing our hair with mud.  Yes, you heard right - mud.  Rhassoul Clay is from Morocco and has been used for thousands of years to "clean" hair.  That worked pretty well, especially when we rinsed with vinegar to restore the PH balance.  But we decided instead to try some natural, organic shampoos from our local Whole Foods store, Greenlife Grocery.  That is what we are using now.  I still plan to use the Rhassoul Clay on occasion for hair and for a facial mask.

I tried switching dishwasher detergent to a natural solution but it really hasn't worked so far.  The detergent was a mix of borax, washing powder, and baking soda with a vinegar and lemon mix in the rinse aid compartment.  It leaves the dishes spotty and not so clean so far.  I may give up on that one.

I bought some natural coconut oil when my facial moisturizer ran out and it is really good for the skin and smells good too.  I use it on my hands and feet too. 

One of my favorite changes has been making and using homemade bath salts.  We mix epson salt, baking soda and great smelling essential oils like Bergemont (my favorite), Lavender, Vanilla, Orange Oil, Spearmint, etc.  We bought a set of essential oils on Amazon. 

I'm sure this will be a continuing saga as we try natural and homemade products.  The benefit should be healthier bodies and a fatter bank account (so far these have been pretty inexpensive changes) except the Rhassoul Clay and the essential oils (which will last a long time since we only use a few drops at a time).

Feel free to give some of these ideas a try!