This article was written by me and previously published in the Autism and Asperger's Digest in January 2010.
WHAT’S THE PLAN?
“What’s the plan for today, Mom?” asked my 13-year-old son Daniel. He always wants to know the plan. Daniel has been homeschooled for the last two years so every day is a little different for him. He asked me if I could put a calendar on the living room wall and write down what he is doing each day. I thought that was a great idea – even if not every home has a big calendar in the living room. He likes to cross off each day as it is completed so he knows what day it is and what is coming next.
His case of Aspergers is pretty mild so not everyone notices it. Most folks just think he is a little different or odd – a little loud or a little quiet or a little “off”. The ADHD just adds a little excitement to the already unpredictable mix.
Daniel used to go to the private school where I teach. Like many kids with ASD, he is very bright in some areas and has challenges in others. His teachers were so good to work with his unusual behaviors and learning challenges and to help him learn what he could. However, each day when he came home, he was done. He was worn out. The challenges of figuring out the social rules (or not figuring them out), dealing with the sometimes overwhelming sensory input, and learning to flex with the schedule changes in class took all he had. All he wanted to do each evening was come home, go to his room alone and work on building things. He didn’t have anything left for homework, for his family, or for other interests.
Daniel’s ADHD also made private school a challenge for him – the distractions of buzzing fluorescent lights, tapping pencils, and chirping birds outside the window were often too much for him. His disorganization academically caused him to continually forget to write down assignments or to lose assignments he’d already done. Most of the feedback he received regarding education and learning was negative.
Finally, in the middle of 5th grade, he hit a wall. He was depressed and tired and neither his teachers, counselors, nor I could figure out what to do. Fortunately, at that time, I met a friend who has a son with ASD who was homeschooling. A light bulb went off in my head. We began homeschooling at Christmas two years agao and we have been doing it ever since.
Kids with ASD often need to learn at their own speed and that’s what homeschooling allows Daniel to do. He learns at his own pace and about the subject matter that interests him. He also likes to have more time with his dad and me. He attends homeschool events like science classes and chess club and develops his social skills a little that way. The homeschooling kids that he meets seem to accept him just the way he is. The best thing, however, is that he is smiling, relaxed, happy, and creative again without the stress of “regular” school.
We have met many other parents of children with learning challenges at homeschooling events. It is a blessing to be understood. Last week at science class, Daniel had to leave the room when the presentation got too loud. I wasn’t there but another mom who has a child with sensory issues was – she just looked at Daniel with his hands over his ears making his way to the door, realized that the noise was the issue, smiled at him and watched him through the glass in the door until the noise was over and he came back into the room. At the homeschool Boy Scout troop, the leader watched Daniel for a few minutes, asked me if he was “on the spectrum”, and upon hearing my answer in the affirmative, said they’d be glad to have him in the troop. It is wonderful to be accepted despite your differences and that is what we have encountered in homeschooling.
One of the most important skills for any child to learn, especially one with special challenges, is the skill of lifelong learning and self-teaching. Some children can lose the love of learning that they are born with due to the pressure and stress of traditional schooling. Daniel was one of these children. Homeschooling has freed him to learn the way he learns best and to begin to desire to learn new things instead of being forced to do so. The removal of distractions and environmental stress has caused learning to be a joy instead of drudgery.
Homeschooling is not for every ASD child but it is one of the many options we have to educate our children in the way that is best for them. Each of our children is different – different gifts, different challenges, and different personalities. We, as parents, have the responsibility of figuring out which option is best for our children at different times in their lives. Homeschooling is the option that is working well for us right now.
In addition to the blessing of moving at his own pace, Daniel is discovering areas of interest and he has the time to focus on them. He has decided that he loves chess and enjoys drawing Manga and cartoons. One thing we thought we’d never see is a love for reading. With the extra time he has, Daniel has begun to read.
So, for our family, the answer to “What’s the plan?” is homeschooling for now. There are so many educational options for kids with ASD and we are thankful to have discovered the one that is best for Daniel right now. As he gains educational and social experience, he may decide to branch out into the world of traditional schooling again in the future.
If you are interested in learning more about homeschooling a child with special needs, there are some website resources you can explore:
· A to Z Home’s Cool - http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/weblinks/autism.htm
· Autism Link on Homeschooling - http://www.autismlink.com/pages/autism_homeschooling/
· Yahoo Group on Homeschooling Aspies – http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/homeschoolingaspies/
You can also contact your local or state homeschooling group to make contact with other parents who are homeschooling children with special needs. Happy Planning!
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